Des Enfants

I have not shared much about how returning back to school has affected my motherhood and I am not entirely sure why. I think it is that – to them – nothing is really different. I have been able to schedule my classes during hours they are in school, and though I have one late night, it would be similar to me having to work late on occasion. I am also fortunate to have the support of my husband and my belle-mère (mother-in-law in French – sounds much nicer in French) so they are also there for them.

But for me, I realized that I am trying to make each time with each of my children count - even more so than if I was working and I think it's because, for most who work, you can leave your work at work. I cannot, no matter how many of my classes parallel with theirs, there will always be school coming home with me. Therefore, because now I am watching the clock much closer than before I am making a conscience effort to really spend quality time with my children.


With my pre-adolescent daughter I try to listen more.

I remember when my mom would get in one of hers moods and just go off at me. And I had to stand the entire (ENTIRE) time to hear/listen to her. After about 3 or 10 minutes I would feel dizzy and she would start to look funny to me. I would shut my eyes for a quick moment, shake and head and re-focus.

So...I realized that my daughter has been shaking her head and blinking a lot at me lately. So now I am trying to listen..to what she wants to say....and she actually has some interesting things to talk about. What she thinks about the election, her new friends, a book she is excited about, her interest to tape something for youtube (sigh). I am not saying I am able to do this with every encounter I have with her (HA) - but I am trying do less and sometimes I end up getting more.

With my middle son, my favorite part of day with him is no question the mornings, when we walk to his school together. Sometimes we play "I Spy"or we do number games. Right now we are discussing the progress of the re-building of a bridge near our home and finding the perfect autumn leaf. Once I even sang to him all of the Sesame Street songs I could remember. And sometimes we walk in silence just holding hands and stepping on the the dry orange leaves. I can still kiss him in front of his friends and wants to me wait until he walks with his class into the school before I go...and I do. It always puts me in a beautiful frame of mind as I head off to the bus stop to start my day at school.

And my baby still makes my heart burst when we see each other at the end of our day with his big, "MOMMY!" I can never get enough of that or matter how tried I am his hugs give me at least 45 minutes more. And I realize that I can get him to sleep faster in my arms than to keep telling him to stay in bed over and over again. So instead of being aggravated - I store up those nighttime cuddle moments - and study afterwards.

I also realize that, as I mentioned before, that me returning to school holds strong when I say I need to go for myself , there is no way I can deny to huge impact of my going to school has on my children , even if they do not see it now. They are my motivators and they keep me focused during the listening, walks, and cuddles.